Cape Fear Investigative Services - Private Investigator, North Carolina

Call Us for Your Free Consultation!
Follow us on Facebook and Twitter

Sexting: Is it Cheating?

August 1st, 2013


Sexting and Cheating

July 31st, 2013

As it applies to marriage, defines infidelity as:

  • Marital disloyalty; adultery.
  • Unfaithfulness; disloyalty.
  • A breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression.

In this new age of smartphones and texting, a new beast has arisen: “Sexting,” which is the “sending of sexually explicit messages or images by cell phone.”

Sexting can be a great way heat up your romance, or keep a long distance romance sizzling.  But if you are in a committed relationship, could it also potentially be a quick way of ending it? I asked this question to Facebook users, and got a host of replies (though most pretty much boiled down to the same answer). “Is sexting cheating?”


Tyler B. shared one experience he bared witness to that involved sexting and a friend of his who had been married for about ten years… “One day he ran into this girl we went to high school with, they exchanged numbers and continued to keep in touch. Turns out they were sexting, even though the girl was well aware that he was married. The wife found out and now he’s divorced. Sexting is cheating, and the reason for its existence is to create an actual sexual encounter. What other reason is there for sexting?”

An overwhelming majority of the adults, ranging in age from 20 to 60, from Oregon to Florida, who answered this informal survey said that yes, it was cheating.  However, quite a few added some caveats, like Michelle S., 41, single from CA, “It’s cheating but not on same level as, say, sex outside the relationship. Like all things, if there is knowledge and consent from both parties it’s a totally different story.”

And Kara H from Durham, NC, who has been married for five years pretty much agreed with Michelle, but stated it a little bit differently. “Absolutely, it’s cheating. If you wouldn’t show your spouse the text, you know it’s wrong. If you have unmet needs, you need to communicate them and devise a plan to have them met. If you can’t communicate or devise a plan, seek professional help.”

Most people, though, like Annelisse B. 41, from Queens, NY, did not distinguish any gray area. LDR (long distance relationship), 3 1/2 months “100% Cheating. You don’t share intimacy with [anybody except] the person you are committed with. Sexting is an intimate moment.” Annelise has been in a four month long distance relationship with Chas S, 50, from Oregon.  Fortunately, they are on the same page! “Yes, it’s a shared level of intimacy outside your supposedly intimate relationship.”


Sexting has become pretty high profile lately, and that did not go unnoticed by Kim S., “Sexting brought down the corrupt Mayor of Detroit,” or Chad G. “[It’s] about how the relationship is defined… There are some freaky couples out there. Carlos Danger’s wife seems to deal with it ok.”

If you are in (what is supposed to be) a committed relationship and you feel like most of the people interviewed in this article regarding sexting, then finding out that your spouse is sharing intimate texts with another person will most likely make you feel hurt and violated.  This violation stems from the significant other’s sharing of an intimate part of themselves with another person in a deceptive manner.  Additionally, it is an emotional violation that could has the potential of leading to physical infidelity.

If you feel like your spouse or loved one has been intimate with another person, depending on your definition of infidelity, please contact us as soon as possible.  We will help set your mind at ease or get you the answers you are looking for.

Is your child safe with the new person in their life? #child…

April 25th, 2013

Is your child safe with the new person in their life? #child #custody #investigation

Background checks from Cape Fear Investigative #Wilmington…

April 24th, 2013

Background checks from Cape Fear Investigative #Wilmington #Jacksonville #NC #business

April 16th, 2013


April 10th, 2013


Our new billboard is up on Carolina Beach Road in Wilmington.

Wilmington’s Warm Weather

April 9th, 2013

flirty-couple-on-beachHave you noticed how nice it’s been outside the last few days? says it’s 76 degrees outside as I type this.  It’s beautiful weather and a lot of people are getting outside to enjoy it.

We’ve got a lot of beaches in the Wilmington area: Wrightsville Beach, Carolina Beach, Topsail Island, Holden Beach, Kure Beach.  The beaches are great, but between the influx of tourists and everyone trading their winter jackets (because we don’t often need coats around here) and pants for bathing suits, temptation flares up and we see a big increase in infidelity investigations.

If you suspect your spouse of having an affair, contact us.  We’ve got years of experience in helping people get the answers they need.  We know it’s not easy to talk to a stranger about something so personal, but we’ll do our best to make you feel comfortable, help you through the tough times and point you in the right direction depending on the decisions you make with whatever evidence we get for you.

So while spring and summer are great times of year to be living in southeastern North Carolina, if your gut tells you that something isn’t right in your relationship, come talk to us, because peace of mind is priceless.

Questions for Wilmington Business Owners

April 4th, 2013

Wilmington Business OwnersWhen I was in law enforcement, a thief was a thief.  Over the course of the the last several years, I have noticed a problematic trend with former law enforcement officers stealing money from people they work with, from people who know and trust them and count them as friends.

Making things worse, local authorities don’t seem to be willing to do anything about it.

My question is this, local Wilmington business owner: How many of you have had a person steal from you, only to be told by law enforcement or the district attorney’s office that it’s a civil case and you’ll have to sue the person who stole from you?

This is not an excuse to sit around complaining, but there are questions I sincerely want to discuss with other local business owners.

How many of you have been stolen from and found the police or DA unwilling to help?

How much was stolen from you?

What were you told by law enforcement or the district attorney’s office?

I’m trying to find out how much of a problem this is.  If you’ve experienced the same issue as other people I’ve talked to, please contact me.

The view outside our door (at Cape Fear Investigative Services,…

March 25th, 2013

The view outside our door (at Cape Fear Investigative Services, Inc. )

Video testimonial from a very satisfied client:…

March 24th, 2013

Video testimonial from a very satisfied client: #ilm #wilmingtonnc #detective #privateinvestigator